Comic Relief Edition
My mind gets so stressed out and confused trying to understand the legal jargon in these privacy policies. But from what I read, websites are required to have these. So I am just trying to do what the law says.
So here is a comic relief summary about what my privacy policy is all about. This is not the official nor legal one. To read the official, legal edition, click here.
We are not stalkers
Of course your privacy is important to us. My privacy is important to me. I don’t like people stalking me and spying on me. Weird!!! And I know you don’t like it either. So, just to set the record straight, we are not stalkers.
The website you are on is https://copywritingsolutionsyouneed.com (in case you didn’t know).
This policy is effective as of 15 October 2021 and was most recently updated on May 8, 2022.
We are not information collectors, but…
Hey. If you give us your information, then we’ve got it. And if your device sends my device information, then . . . I guess my device gots it! (But my device didn’t share it with me, so I don’t know anything.) You know these electronic devices have minds of their own sometimes. They may be plotting to overtake the world. So be careful out there!!!
Log carvings
Have you ever carved your name on a log or a tree like, “David was here, 10/15/21”? Or maybe you carved a heart and wrote in the middle “Jack & Jill Forever,” or something like that. Well, that carving will probably be there for many years to come, for all the world to see (or at least those passersby). I guess you weren’t too concerned about your privacy there.
And so, when you visit our website, our servers may automatically carve into a log the standard data provided by your web browser. It’s a good thing these servers aren’t real people or else all of our trees and logs would be filled with undecipherable carvings readable only to other servers!!
These electronic carvings may include your device’s Internet Protocol (IP) address, your browser type and version, the pages you visit, the time and date of your visit, the time spent on each page, other details about your visit, and technical details that occur in conjunction with any errors you may encounter. Again, I don’t even know where to access this information, if it even exists! It must be in the virtual, electronic, server world. I guess it might be important to them.
But please be aware that while this information may not be personally identifying by itself, it may be possible to combine it with other data to personally identify individual persons. So beware of any Terminators that might come for you when the machines take over the world.
My little black book
We only ask for the following personal information on our website.
Name
Email
Phone/mobile number
A long time ago, I used to have a little black book where I would keep the names, phone numbers, and mailing addresses of friends and family so I could stay in contact with them. There was no privacy policy. People didn’t care if I kept this data about them. Or if they did care, I guess they wouldn’t have given it to me in the first place.
Why we ask for your personal information
We only collect and use your personal information so we can connect and do business. If you provide us with your personal information, then I assume it’s because you are 1) interested in our business, 2) interested in our services, or 3) you have a service you wish to provide to us. If you don’t want us to have your personal information, then please don’t provide it to us. You are free to use this website without giving us your personal information.
Collection and use of information
As far as I know, we only collect personal information from you on this website when you fill out the Contact Form on the “Contact” page, or if you want to leave a comment on a blog post.
But since I am not a programmer, coder, or web designer, I don’t know what my website or servers may be doing. So I need to inform you that it is remotely possible, but still possible that:
We may collect personal information from you when you do any of the following on our website:
Use a mobile device or web browser to access our content
Contact us via email, social media, or on any similar technologies
When you mention us on social media
But again, if my website or server is collecting personal information through these means, they aren’t telling me about it!!!
Security of your personal information
Your personal information is kept in a little black book. The little black book is kept in a high-grade steel safe with 10-inch thick walls. The safe is hidden away inside a wall behind a bookcase in the basement. And no, the bookcase does not move at the press of a button like you see in movies. You actually have to take all of the hundreds of books off of the bookcase in order to move the bookcase. And oh, by the way, the staircase leading to the basement and the basement floor has many security safeguards I am not allowed to tell you about here. (Hey, I can’t tell you all of my secrets.) So don’t even try to attempt to steal this little black book.
NOT!!!!!
Hey, you know, the only personal information that I collect from you from this website would be your name, telephone number, and email address, and that is only if you provide it to me by filling out the contact form or when posting a comment on a blog post. I am sure this information is already publicly available, either on your website or social media platforms.
Do you remember the days of the White Pages and the Yellow Pages? I guess if you’re under 30 or so, you may not remember the time when the telephone company published everyone’s name, mailing address, and phone number in the White Pages, which was a big book in major cities. Then they would make copies of the big book and give it to all residents in the city for FREE. Of course, you could ask the telephone company to not list your personal information, and they would honor that request, but most did not ask to be unlisted.
The Yellow Pages were for businesses to advertise themselves. The Yellow Pages contained the names of businesses, addresses, and telephone numbers throughout the city categorized by types of service. Businesses were also listed in the White Pages in alphabetical order along with names of residents.
So again, back in the day, it seems, most people were not that concerned about the privacy of their personal information (at least their contact information).
I assume only businesses would be contacting me through this website. As a business, I assume that your information is already publicly available. If it is not, then that raises some serious red flags for me, because that means you are an underground business doing things in secret. Unless you’re into installing and maintaining sewer lines, mining operations, or you have other legitimate business under the ground, I’m not interested in doing business with you. My business is legit, and I only do business with other legit businesses. Sorry.
The bottom line is, if you don’t want me to have this information, then don’t give it to me. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to do business with you though.
Use of your personal information
We will only use your personal information to contact you or conduct business with you. We will never give or sell your personal information to a third party.
How long we keep your personal information
We will keep your personal information (name, email, and phone number) until you ask us to delete it. When you ask us to delete your personal information, we will delete it from our electronic databases, but we will not be able to delete any personal information contained in written or electronic invoices, contracts, proposals, or emails.
Did you turn 13 years old today?
Happy Birthday!!! Congratulations!!! You are now a teenager. Enjoy your teenage years. They’ll go by faster than you think.
But just for the record, we do not market our services to children under 13 years of age. If you are a teenager and reading this, then I want to ask . . . why???? Certainly you have better and more fun things to do. Certainly there are more interesting websites out there for you.
If you are under 13, please do not leave your name, address, phone number, email address or any other personal identifying information on our website. Thank you.
International travels
My little black book does not currently travel internationally. And in the case it may some day, we will protect your data according to the law.
Spam and junk mail
If you no longer wish to receive any advertising from us, please just let us know. Contact information is below, or you can contact us through the “Contact” page on this website.
Other
If you think the information we have about you is wrong, just let us know. We will be happy to correct it.
If you believe that we have somehow used your personal information illegally, then you should be reading the official, legal privacy policy (click here). But please contact us and let us know. We are more than happy to work to safeguard your personal information better or to delete it.
What’s your favorite cookie?
I like all kinds of cookies. My personal favorite is chocolate chip cookies. But I can make a mean ginger cookie, too. Very tasty. For the recipe, click here.
The Cookie Monster also loves to devour cookies. It would be great if the Cookie Monster could devour all the cookies on our websites and computers for us. But alas, it seems like the cookies themselves have become the Monster. Computer cookies are definitely not my favorite.
But remember, we are not stalkers. We don’t track you outside of our website. But if you were in my house, I would want to know where you are wandering in my house and what you are seeing. In the same way, we want to know how you wander around our website. So we use “cookies” to keep tabs on you while you’re on our site.
A cookie is a small piece of data that our website stores on your computer, and accesses each time you visit, so we can understand how you use our site. To learn more about how we use cookies or to manage your consent, please click here to visit our Cookie Page. Sorry, no cookie recipes here.
Google Analytics
We are now using Google Analytics to help us understand how people use our website. Google Analytics uses their own cookies and has their own privacy policy. For more information about Google Analytics and how they collect and process data and how to opt out, please click here, or go to www.google.com/policies/privacy/partners/.
Limitations: We can’t control everything!
Our website may link to external sites that are not operated by us. Please be aware that we have no control over the content and policies of those sites, and cannot accept responsibility or liability for their respective privacy practices.
Life is a state of constant change
At our discretion, we may change our privacy policy to reflect updates to our business processes, current acceptable practices, or legislative or regulatory changes. If we decide to change this privacy policy, we will post the changes here at the same link by which you are accessing this privacy policy.
If required by law, we will get your permission or give you the opportunity to opt in to or opt out of, as applicable, any new uses of your personal information.
Contact us
For any questions or concerns regarding your privacy, you may contact us by
Email: info@copywritingsolutionsyouneed.com
Phone: 904-479-0953
Writing to:
David Buskirk
5451 Cresta Way #3
Jacksonville, FL 32211